self-aware

In theory a great great achievement: to know oneself so well, so deeply that conscious awareness becomes redundant. To be so acquainted with one’s decision making trees and efforts that there is no need to refer to oneself anymore: knowing one’s weather forecast so well as to eliminate the need for self-reflection. To me, this situation might be the penultimate happiness. Consciousness that knows itself to the point of knowing its responses and actions in any situation, and thus overcomes reflective thought. In easy terms: what if you knew yourself so well that you didn’t need to think about your actions/thoughts anymore. Continue reading “self-aware”

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inescapable

Life is plebian, that is: there is always the moment awake lying down before sleep, and still that moment of awake but not up yet after a sleep. Noone escapes these two moments except in extreme cases (which I will set aside). Why is it easy to imagine that moment for, say, St. Teresa or Marting Kuther King Jr., but not for Adolf Hitler or a religous extremist? Again, with the way in which archetypes become writ large in the media of our minds, why do some beings escape the rule of the ordinary. Darth Vader, Thor, Saddam Hussein, Mother Mary, Zeus, Saturn, these figures have a status that excepts them from ordinary. Fictional characters already escape the ordinary because they are subject only to imaginary circumstances, and not reality. The same could be said of Mother Mary or Judas, because although there are historical references to their existence, they have become mythological figures. The same goes for figures like Hitler or Pol Pot, their names have become stand-ins for such evil that although these people were as subject to daily life as anyone else, the concept of Hitler or Pol Pot overcomes the human person the names designate.

In truth, we don’t like to remember their humanity. To do so is a reminder that within the ordinariness of life, that in policy meetings and management heiarchies, these lone humans were able to effect desicion trees making ordinary citizens able to commit acts of great violence and agony. Their very humanity ties us to them, and makes us uncomfortable due to the moral accounting resuting thereof. But the “good,” we like to remember their humanity, usually. It is a reminder that even with the opressive conditions of existence, we can acheive great things as Mozart, as the Buddha, as St. Teresa.

“Good” and “evil” are very simplistic ways of dividing human beings. In a consequentionalist stance, we could judge people based merely on the effects they have had on surrounding humans. Martin Luther King Jr. is an inspiration to millions for equal rights and the power of dogged activism. Brutal dictators cause extreme agony. Most of us fall in the middle: we’re just trying to pay the rent and take care of us and ours. I prefer to know and be reminded of the obayance of all humans to our biologic needs, beacuse it is a great reminder of the extreme breadth and depth of how we may affect other people.

Now we have returned to earth and recongized these beings as having been living, just like us.

Inflexibility of time

12891698_10101776888413366_5310539695117596337_oWorking in the business of live theatre is a brutal education on the inflexibility of human-scaled “time”. During performance, any act is totally unreversable. While one can redo something in rehearsal, this ‘redo’ is always a new redo in that a mistake at 12:13pm becomes fixed at 12:15pm—most definitely not at 12:13pm. I can not travel back in time. As theatre is a collaborative venture, redoing a moment requires the cooperation of all the parts of the whole: technicians, performers, staff. (Of course everybody is cognizant of the redo.) But in performance, there are no retakes. There can never be a moment redone without all participants noticing. Continue reading “Inflexibility of time”

Paintings by K

424539_3223723603864_1000062381_nEmotions recall colours. Colours recall emotions. Look left and look right and you will see various things. One of the major reasons we can tell one object from another is the shape of a colour difference. Combined with binocular vision and depth perception, the separation of vision into disparate parts is reliant on differences of shape and colour shade. Even in black and white, the changing shades of grey or the shapes of the black / white are what allow discernment. The learning curve for discernment takes several years, but there comes a point where it is so automatic that even a new object, room, a new vista or city has the familiar aspect of being comprehensible. Photographs of the Mars desert likewise share this. Continue reading “Paintings by K”