two dots

Two dots. I reason that humans are able to perceive time because we are able to remember difference. That essentially, difference is dependent on memory to even be noticed. “When it was different,” as a means of cogitating the universe. But if one looks at these two dots . . one is able to perceive and remember difference without the aid of memory at all. The two dots are. Memory learning is needed for seeing and perceiving the difference between words and letters…but not for noticing these two dots : thence is a hole in my original idea.

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Questions for the initiates

Questions for the initiates

Q: Turn into a stone.

A: I am already a stone!

A: (Picks up a stone.)


Q: When you don’t see something what is it that you don’t see?

A: (Points to mirror.)


Q: What does the future have in store for you?

A: (Throws stone through an open, or closed, window.)


Q: Where are you going?

A: I already have.

A: (Throws a stone.)


Q: Why do you prefer one thing over another?

A: I don’t. (Enters cold shower.)

A: Fuck you! (Hits master.)

A: Because.


Q: What is the difference between knowledge and memory?

A: (Hits master.) That pain is knowledge. My slap is a memory.


Q: (Shows student a live frog and a coffee)

“Make these two the same.”

A: (Places one hand on the frog and the other on the coffee.)


Q: Tell me what Rei is doing at the moment.

A: I can’t.

Q: Why?

A: Because Rei is already doing something else.

Q: Ok. Tell me what Rei will do in five minutes.

A: I can’t.

Q: Why?

A: Because stone, river, lizard, computer, wind, phone, cloud, storm, text, food, lust, …[goes on until master gives the ok to stop].


Q: Why is existing so painful?

A: (Hits master.) Now you know.


Q: I drank too much coffee. (Or some other past action.)

How can I undo the past?

A: You didn’t drink too much coffee.

Q: Liar.

A: You liar!

I wish I could be more pure. More transparent. As if being pure were an effort; if it were then even a tenth of the effort I use to exercise my muscles could be diverted and made into a flexible purity that would give smiles to those who me well. My existence is instead a lonely flame, tethered to and a part of, a body consuming energy…for what? Zest has become a foreign country. Travel arrangements are lengthy and visas expensive. When did zest become so inaccessible? Zest is like a color unseen for so long the hue is barely remembered; a geometry rendered sterile. Like all the other un-seen, un-heard, un-touchable-un-tastable-un-smellable experiences of life, zest is an elusive conjugation of the senses and sense.